Movie Theater Etiquette

Good day fellow movie watchers,

I just got back from the movie theater - my 2nd time seeing Atonement. Equally awesome the second time around, though my movie-going experience was one of the worst I've had in a very, very long time. Let me explain:

I got to the theater 1/2 hour early so I could get my pick of the seats - back row, center - I'm the first to arrive, so I take my seat, peel off my coat, throw it and my purse on the seat to my left and take out my crossword puzzle book. For the next twenty or so minutes, people file into the theater with their bags of over-buttered popcorn, taking their seats, as there are many options since Atonement is still being shown in one of the larger theaters.

As I write in an answer for one of my crossword puzzles, three women at least twice my age enter the row directly in front on me, the tallest taking the seat directly in front of mine. Now, this would not be a problem if the movie theater had stadium seating, but this POS theater is raked, and therefore the woman with the fake blonde Katie Holmes bob and faux brand name trenchcoat was not only directly in my eyeline, but also rocking in her seat as far back as it could go, striking my already bruised knee cap.

Knowing I could not sit through an entire movie with that in front of me, I reluctantly got up and moved down two seats to my left. A woman comes in right before the trailers begin and sits at the end of the row I was at, and in my mind, I thought that was a good sign that no one was going to come in and screw up my cinematic adventure.

I was wrong.

I was able to enjoy the In Bruges trailer, but during Young at Heart, an elderly woman, perhaps 3 to 4 times my age is staring down at me asking me to move my coat so she and her 2 friends can squeeze into the seats to my right. Though this was irritating, I moved my stuff and she and her friends sat down.

I hate it when people come in right before the movie starts (or worse, when the movie has already started) and demand you move your own seat or move your stuff so that they can have better seats... My rule of thumb is, if I get to the theater and there are people already there, I respect that they got there before me, so I shall not sit directly in front of them or right next to them... especially if you know that the theater is not going to be packed to capacity. Show some respect for the people who took the time to get to the theater early - yes, you paid your $5-12 too, but first come, first served. If you happen to get to the theater during the trailers or during the movie, don't climb over people to get to center seats... quietly find a seat that is good for viewing, but one that you won't have to disrupt people to get to...

So, the theater darkens and Briony's doll house pops up with "London 1935" and the woman right next to me proceeds to start her commentary. "Oh, it's a nursery!" Yes, we know...

For the next few minutes, she and her friends were quiet and I thought maybe the worst was over from the peanut gallery... nope. Wrong again, Katie.

During the second presentaiton of the fountain sequence, the woman next to me (we'll call her WNTM from now on) exclaimed aloud that she was confused. If she was confused by that, I didn't know how she was going to make it through the rest of the picture.

For awhile, WNTM said nothing. During the second presentation of the library scene, one of the more quiet moments in the film, WNTM decided she wanted something out of her purse. Cue zipper sounds, rustling about, then very loud unfolding of paper... was her piece of candy wrapped in super strength cardboard? (I'm assuming it was candy, as whatever it was, she put in her mouth after unwrapping it)

So, the theater is quiet (except for this loud unfolding) while Robbie and Cecilia are making love when WNTM says aloud "I see why this is Rated 'R'!". No matter that the c-word was just typed in 10 foot letters no less than three times up on the screen...

Then I managed to tune out WNTM for awhile, as I was engrossed with the movie.

It is now 1944 in the movie and Robbie is looking through his letters from Cecilia, then opens his shirt to reveal a gunshot wound on his chest. Cue WNTM - "Oh! What's that??"

It's. A. Gunshot. Wound.

WNTM then decides to clap her hands for about a minute or two... not loud like an applause, but more like instead of deciding to bounce her knee or tap her toe quietly, she clapped her hands. Oy.

And then comes the Dunkirk scene... such a beautiful tracking shot through the beach, seeing over a thousand people working together to make this breathtaking sequence. Most of the shot is wihtout dialogue (there are bits of music and some talking, but it's mostly wordless), as we follow Robbie across the beach. You just watch James McAvoy in the moment - his eyes soaking in everything around him. Tired, thirsty, injured, defeated looking, yet entirely determined at the same time... he didn't need words to communicate what he was feeling... but lucky me had my own commentary track going on in the seat next to me "Why are they shooting horses?... Look, a Ferris Wheel!... Where are they going?..."

A little later comes one of my favorite scenes... the one in Cecilia's apartment. The entire theater is dead quiet after Robbie's justifiable outburst at Briony, except for WNTM. As Cecilia lights up a cigarette, WNTM muses to her friends about how much they used to smoke back then, and "Briony looks the same now as when she is little".

The end of the movie neared, but not without one final comment from WNTM - she obviously is a Vanessa Redgrave fan, as she was quick to call out her name once her face was gracing the screen.

As the credits rolled, I silently put on my coat, grabbed my purse and wiped away the solitary tear that was pooling up at the corner of my left eye. As frustrated I was at the WNTM, I still enjoyed the movie - one of my favorite films from this awards season, hands down.

As you know, I love talking about movies, but I rarely (like, hardly ever) say more than a word or two during an actual movie while at the theater. (It's the same with people at Broadway musicals - don't sing along... we know you know the words, but we paid a lot of money to see professional performers sing the songs.)

I have this wish that one day I will be the only person in the movie theater during some screening... and I can do what I always hope to accomplish while watching a movie - get so sucked in that I forget I'm at a theater and I'm just right there with the story. Sometimes, when a movie is good enough to my liking, I can reach that place even with a theater full of people... it just really helps if those people aren't talking during the movie :)